My Heart Hurts 💙

My heart truly physically hurts. For my husband, for my brother-in-law, and for our other Blue family.

Even though T took another job three years ago & is no longer with EBRSO, we’ll always consider these other men & women part of our family. Many of them are extremely close friends who truly are just like family and when one heart is torn, we are all torn. These men & women who put on that uniform and badge everyday ARE our heroes, no doubt. They put their lives out there every.single.day to protect us and for many, it’s a way of life that they will never back down from.

We got the call around 12:30am from my sweet brother-in-law. My phone had gone off a few seconds before with the alert from WBRZ that there was a deputy-involved shooting, but no other details were given. So we already “knew” but didn’t really “know”. From T’s solemn tone, I knew it wasn’t good. My heart literally stopped for a few seconds. The look on his face said everything – we knew this guy. My heart raced from this family to that one because we are all young with itty bitty growing families. But young or old, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that a fellow Blue life was lost last night putting his all on the line in order to protect us. Such a senseless act that needs to stop!

Only a few short months ago {almost a whole year now}, three others were taken so suddenly from us. And one still continues to fight & give it his all everyday – in rehab.

Please pray for this fallen officer – this husband, friend, father, son, as well as his sweet family that will have to now go on without him. Their pain has to be unimaginable.

Rest In Peace with our Father, Sgt. Shawn Anderson.

New Appointment Scheduled! 🙌🏻

I called today to go ahead & schedule {probably} my first-of-a-few follow up appointments before my actual surgery date. I say first-of-a-few because I’m quite certain my doctor will want another MRI to compare to the last & then there’s always the pre-op.

I’ve decided to stay with my care at The NeuroMedical Center. I have several reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that it’s just simply more convenient for all. Dr. B said I’ll be in the hospital for 4 days, with the first day being ICU. That means T will most probably stay with me {even though I told him he doesn’t have to} & our little princess, with my in-laws. It would completely break me to be a few hours away from her & just know I can’t see her. At least this way, T can bring her to see me and even if not, I know that I’m only 30 minutes away. It will be easier for people to come there than to travel 2+ hours to New Orleans and fight that nasty traffic. Not to say BR traffic is a whole heck of a lot better, but still.

The NeuroMedical Center, after all, has the region’s largest team of doctors specializing in my ol noggin. And as an added bonus, the doctor who performed my brain surgery {when I was five} actually founded the Center.

Yes, I’ve heard the good, the bad, and the ugly, but isn’t that everywhere? I’m really not concerned with how much I like the doctor’s attitude as long as he can do good things up there – in my head.

The memory loss itself is horrible! Just today, T went to take a shower before he left for work. A few minutes later, he hollered out my name. I ran in the bathroom to see what was going on. He replied with, “Just letting you know I’m in.” Umm ok, thanks for that info, hubs but I heard the water running. I guess he was as confused as I was because he asked if I had remembered telling him to tell me when he got in. “Mae, are you sure?! That was like 5 minutes ago.” Nope, had no idea. 😑

So, if you come in my house & see notes to myself EVERYWHERE – this is why. I literally have to remind myself of everything- taking my meds to even feeding R and myself. Blah, blah, blah right? I feel like I’m 96.

So, come on April 4th. I’m anxiously awaiting you!

I’ll update more when I know more. Until then…

xo,

Maegan {Sweet cousins @ Honey & Poppie’s yesterday.}

The End Is In Sight

The outage, that is. And it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. The only other one I have to compare to is the one when Reesey was a newborn and if you knew me then, we ALL know we don’t  want to revisit that time period – EVER!

But with that end in sight, comes the hard truth that surgery is near. Yep, the surgery that I blogged about a few months ago but I’ve declined to say anything else about. More or less, just put it out of my mind for a few months since I knew I couldn’t set a date yet anyway and of course, I’m not too keen on the idea of thinking {or overthinking, in my case} there’s a tumor growing inside my head and it needs to removed, but it can’t right now. {insert anxiety level through the roof} 😳

Alas, the time has come. I don’t know if I’m ready because at this present time, Reesey clings to me like a spider monkey most days – refusing anyone else but me – even Tommy. How is that going to work if I can’t bend down or pick up on anything for several weeks?! That part has me more worried than the surgery itself. Surgery is just surgery. I’m definitely not new to this game.

Hopefully we can get a date soon before the summer – so I can participate in normal summer fun things with my sweet little family instead of being stuck in bed.

My girl is so much fun these days & I know it’s just going to get better & better, especially with the warmer days approaching. Well, I guess I should say springy-er days coming. We live in South Louisiana, we had a whole 4 days of winter this year. 🙄

Will update more when I know more.
xo,

Maegan


{signing off with a picture from last night. 😂. My girl was so tired but she kept insisting “No Sleep”.}