Happy Muver’s Day, Mama!Β 

My hubby had the best morning planned out. But we all know what happens when plans are made. πŸ™„

R woke up at 3ish this morning wanting “mama snuggles” so we both jumped in the guest bed & snuggled up. Then, “Mama, milk please.” Happens every.single.time. πŸ˜‚So I stumble out of bed, fumble around for my glasses, put on my slippers {I’m crazy weird & MUST have shoes on when I’m walking around}, and sleepily trudge down the hallway.

Then, I hear “Mama, wait for me!” Happens {almost} every.single.time. πŸ˜‚ I’m really not sure why because once I pick her up, she instantly snuggles into my neck and falls back asleep. Here we go, into the cabinet to get a sippy, one-handedly pouring the milk {thank goodness it wasn’t a full gallon}, screw sippy lid on, return milk to fridge, and we’re on our way back to bed. I lay R down on “her” pillow & hand her her milk. “Table” she says. 😳 Meaning, oh I just wanted you to go get it but put it on the table in case I want it the second you get comfy & close your super tired eyes. Every.single.time. 

This kid is such a diva, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Ya know, my Mother’s Day wouldn’t have been my normal if I would’ve slept all through the night til like 9 or 10. Sure, sometimes I silently scream for those nights where she won’t wake at all & sleep on soundly til morning. But I’m quickly reminded that this is the gift I prayed for. For days, months, years. I cried millions of tears because I would do anything for a baby. I’m reminded that I’m living my dream. I’m reminded that it’s the absolute BEST feeling in the whole world to get back in bed and cuddle her as we both drift off. To feel her warm baby breath on me & smell her sweet hair as I whisper, “Mama’s here. You can go back to sleep.” I’m reminded that some mamas are hurting this very second because they don’t have that baby to snuggle anymore. Or because they never got the chance. Or because that baby that they were going to snuggle the heck out of passed onto heaven before it was time. Or because they once had that baby here but now he/she is one of God’s angels watching over us. I’m quickly reminded that I am one of the lucky ones. I’m reminded to never ever take one second for granted because God chose me to be her sweet Mama & she deserves the absolute best of the best. 

Sure – the days are long & hard, but the years are very short. My baby will be three this year. THREE! How is that even possible?! How did 3 years pass by so quickly? I don’t even want to think about it. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mamas! Whether you have a child here, in heaven, still longing to see those two pink lines, or never got the chance to have a child, you are all in my prayer tonight as I lay my weary head down for that much-needed rest. 

xo, 

Maegan 

Surgery Date Scheduled βœ…

Hooray for having a date for surgery & being able to scratch that off my mile-long list of things to do. I feel quite certain I’m the only one saying yay for surgery, but y’all, I’m just ready to get this thing over & done with. The End.

Of course, when it was finally our turn to see Dr. B last week, it was 5pm and everybody looked like they were ready to high-tail it out of there. No blaming them here; I just wanted to get this show on the road, which included scheduling the big day, finding out what pre-op things needed to be taken care of beforehand, etc. Well, most of that got accomplished {signing consent upon consent upon consent} – except the actual scheduling part. The “scheduler” had already gone for the day. Bummer! But, they DID say she’d call the next morning with a slew of dates for me to choose from. Holla!

Next, on the agenda – scheduling a pre-op with the ENT who will be assisting in surgery {since they have to go thru my nasal cavity}. I’m definitely asking him to clean out those nasty sinuses while they’re digging around in there. Couldn’t hurt, right?! Wrong! The asking part, no. But the other, YESSS! Then, a pre-op with my PCP to do all that normal before-surgery jazz {EKG, labs, etc.}

Dr. B said if there is still bone left in there, they will break it to get to the tumor. Ouch! He also made sure to let me know that when I finally wake up, my nose & face are going to hurt like HELL! My goodness, go on and sugarcoat it, amiright?! Ha, no I definitely knew it wasn’t going to be a walk-in-the-park but it’s something that needs to happen. He went on to say that my nose will feel like a tampon (or 2) Β has been shoved up there so no breathing out the ole honker for a while. Ugh, I’ve gotta be one of those mouth-breathers. You know who I’m talking about. 😏

Now on to the “best” part – recovery. 😣 I have to sleep sitting up for, wait for it – 6 WHOLE WEEKS – to reduce the risk of a CSF leak. Joy, oh joy! I have no clue how I’m going to accomplish this, but it’s definitely going to have to happen because the complications are not so good.

June 15th can’t get here fast enough! I’m sure I’ll be kicking myself for saying that a few days before, but right now, I’m just ready, Freddy! Now, if I could only get a plastic surgeon to get in on this game plan & take off these 20 lbs of boobs I’m dealing with. Just kidding, but really! I’ll even be willing to donate. 😝

So that’s that. Haven’t had my other 2 appts yet bc I need everything to be at least 6 weeks or less before actual surgery.

I’ll keep ya posted!

xo,

Maegan

Happy Easter! and A Little Extra…

Today was such a great family day despite the nagging headache I had. You know those kind that are right on the temple but kinda above the eye too? Ugh, the absolute worst.

R had so much fun checking out what the bunny brought her this morning. Of course, all she was REALLY interested in was the candy, which I didn’t get much of because I knew she’d get it elsewhere. However, that’s all she ate for breakfast. 😳 Yep, I’m THAT mom. Not really, but I was also trying to pick my battles. That wasn’t one I was interested in fighting. Plus, I was attempting to get my corn pudding in the oven while ironing clothes, etc. So, jelly beans for breakfast it was. Followed by a small lunch {huge for everybody else though} at Mimi & Papa’s and more candy, cupcakes, and other dessert. My sweet MIL made strawberry pie! 😳 I literally could’ve eaten the whole thing by myself & had no shame. It was AHH-MAZING!


Hey, it’s really only one day a year she gets to do this so go ahead & indulge, my child and that’s exactly what she did. Which probably explains why she was up til 11pm watching her videos. “Shake It Off” {by Tay Tay} came on. She literally stood up in my bed & said “Mommy watch, I shake it.” T & I just shook our heads. This girl’s gonna be somethin’ y’all. She loves to shake her booty. πŸ˜‚

In other news, I go for my final MRI {before surgery} tomorrow. Followed by an appt with my surgeon on Tuesday, to discuss the results & how all this surgery business is gonna go down. Last we talked, he said most probably shooting for May. Whoo Hoo! I am so ready to be done with this. Get the tumor out, clean out my sinuses while you’re digging in there, and hopefully these nasty headaches will resolve, which means less medication! Another Whoo Hoo!

So that’s where we sit right now. Still not sure of a definite date but that will probably be decided on Tuesday. I know this one’s short & not my regular jam, but just wanted to quickly update those who I haven’t spoken too recently.

Much love, my dear friends.
xo,

Maegan

The Most Beautiful Flower Girl That Ever Was

Last weekend was one of the funnest {that’s a word, right?} weddings I’ve been to in a long time. T officiated, Reesey was the sweetest flower girl, and well, I was just me. 

She and the little ring bearer were just so precious, even if they refused to walk together & we (the mamas) had to accompany them. It was truly the sweetest ceremony and the reception was a blast! Reesey danced until she could dance no more. And when she started getting sleepy, she’d take a bite out of a cake ball {which were AHHH-MAZING by the way} and keep on going. She danced with her daddy, her papa, her Uncle Fluffy, and of course, stole the show in every way possible. 

Cheers to Kayla & Jeff! To a lifetime of love & tons of happiness and laughs. 

xo, 

Maegan 

My Heart Hurts πŸ’™

My heart truly physically hurts. For my husband, for my brother-in-law, and for our other Blue family.

Even though T took another job three years ago & is no longer with EBRSO, we’ll always consider these other men & women part of our family. Many of them are extremely close friends who truly are just like family and when one heart is torn, we are all torn. These men & women who put on that uniform and badge everyday ARE our heroes, no doubt. They put their lives out there every.single.day to protect us and for many, it’s a way of life that they will never back down from.

We got the call around 12:30am from my sweet brother-in-law. My phone had gone off a few seconds before with the alert from WBRZ that there was a deputy-involved shooting, but no other details were given. So we already “knew” but didn’t really “know”. From T’s solemn tone, I knew it wasn’t good. My heart literally stopped for a few seconds. The look on his face said everything – we knew this guy. My heart raced from this family to that one because we are all young with itty bitty growing families. But young or old, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that a fellow Blue life was lost last night putting his all on the line in order to protect us. Such a senseless act that needs to stop!

Only a few short months ago {almost a whole year now}, three others were taken so suddenly from us. And one still continues to fight & give it his all everyday – in rehab.

Please pray for this fallen officer – this husband, friend, father, son, as well as his sweet family that will have to now go on without him. Their pain has to be unimaginable.

Rest In Peace with our Father, Sgt. Shawn Anderson.

New Appointment Scheduled! πŸ™ŒπŸ»

I called today to go ahead & schedule {probably} my first-of-a-few follow up appointments before my actual surgery date. I say first-of-a-few because I’m quite certain my doctor will want another MRI to compare to the last & then there’s always the pre-op.

I’ve decided to stay with my care at The NeuroMedical Center. I have several reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that it’s just simply more convenient for all. Dr. B said I’ll be in the hospital for 4 days, with the first day being ICU. That means T will most probably stay with me {even though I told him he doesn’t have to} & our little princess, with my in-laws. It would completely break me to be a few hours away from her & just know I can’t see her. At least this way, T can bring her to see me and even if not, I know that I’m only 30 minutes away. It will be easier for people to come there than to travel 2+ hours to New Orleans and fight that nasty traffic. Not to say BR traffic is a whole heck of a lot better, but still.

The NeuroMedical Center, after all, has the region’s largest team of doctors specializing in my ol noggin. And as an added bonus, the doctor who performed my brain surgery {when I was five} actually founded the Center.

Yes, I’ve heard the good, the bad, and the ugly, but isn’t that everywhere? I’m really not concerned with how much I like the doctor’s attitude as long as he can do good things up there – in my head.

The memory loss itself is horrible! Just today, T went to take a shower before he left for work. A few minutes later, he hollered out my name. I ran in the bathroom to see what was going on. He replied with, “Just letting you know I’m in.” Umm ok, thanks for that info, hubs but I heard the water running. I guess he was as confused as I was because he asked if I had remembered telling him to tell me when he got in. “Mae, are you sure?! That was like 5 minutes ago.” Nope, had no idea. πŸ˜‘

So, if you come in my house & see notes to myself EVERYWHERE – this is why. I literally have to remind myself of everything- taking my meds to even feeding R and myself. Blah, blah, blah right? I feel like I’m 96.

So, come on April 4th. I’m anxiously awaiting you!

I’ll update more when I know more. Until then…

xo,

MaeganΒ {Sweet cousins @ Honey & Poppie’s yesterday.}

The End Is In Sight

The outage, that is. And it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. The only other one I have to compare to is the one when Reesey was a newborn and if you knew me then, we ALL know we don’t Β want to revisit that time period – EVER!

But with that end in sight, comes the hard truth that surgery is near. Yep, the surgery that I blogged about a few months ago but I’ve declined to say anything else about. More or less, just put it out of my mind for a few months since I knew I couldn’t set a date yet anyway and of course, I’m not too keen on the idea of thinking {or overthinking, in my case} there’s a tumor growing inside my head and it needs to removed, but it can’t right now. {insert anxiety level through the roof} 😳

Alas, the time has come. I don’t know if I’m ready because at this present time, Reesey clings to me like a spider monkey most days – refusing anyone else but me – even Tommy. How is that going to work if I can’t bend down or pick up on anything for several weeks?! That part has me more worried than the surgery itself. Surgery is just surgery. I’m definitely not new to this game.

Hopefully we can get a date soon before the summer – so I can participate in normal summer fun things with my sweet little family instead of being stuck in bed.

My girl is so much fun these days & I know it’s just going to get better & better, especially with the warmer days approaching. Well, I guess I should say springy-er days coming. We live in South Louisiana, we had a whole 4 days of winter this year. πŸ™„

Will update more when I know more.
xo,

Maegan


{signing off with a picture from last night. πŸ˜‚. My girl was so tired but she kept insisting “No Sleep”.}

The Simple Things

Today was an amazing day, even though Tommy only had a few short hours with us before he had to go back to work.

Since the big park didn’t work out yesterday, we decided we were definitely bringing Reesey to the one within walking distance of our house. The weather was absolutely fantastic! And our girl enjoyed the heck out of herself blowing bubbles with her humongous bubble wand, bouncing from one thing to another, and running around like a crazy girl. We even brought Cookie on our little adventure & of course, she loved every second of running wide open!


I think our girl wore herself out because she literally passed out when we got home. Even said, “Mama I tired.” I just love her so much!

Super exciting news: Tommy said only about 2 more weeks of this outage! While I usually take these comments with a grain of salt because they are NEVER finished when they say they are, I truly think it’ll be 2-3 more weeks, maybe 4. Eeeekkkk, yay for a normal schedule again & for seeing him a little more than a few hours here & there.


And last but not least – we welcomed a new addition to our family this past week!

Congrats to my awesome sister-in-law {and brother-in-law} for having this big bundle of love au naturale. She’s such an amazing mama! We ❀️ her big! Baby Jacob is half the size of my little Reesey. But that’s ok – that just means she has double protection with him and big brother, James.

xo,

Maegan

People Are Legit Crazy! πŸ€‘

And I’m just over here, all happy go lucky – minding my own business, keeping to myself, doing mama things because that’s what we, mamas, do. And I wake up to this random text message {6 page text message, mind you} from a so-called friend who is suffering from an illness but goes off on me because I haven’t been by to see her and/or check on her. Darlin, I see your posts on the FB where you say you can hardly get off the couch some days & you’re sh*tting your pants most of the time so you’ve started wearing Depends. Ok, maybe I’m wrong but I want no one {I repeat NO ONE} seeing me like that, except my husband who’s seen it all.


Let’s back up a bit, shall we? We recently attended a Valentine’s Day party for our littles at a sweet friend’s house. First things first – I didn’t know where her house was so I’m creeping down the street {but she also lives in a new, up & coming neighborhood so there’s no one really riding the streets.} I felt creeping along was ok. I’m also admiring all the beautiful houses they have/are building because we’ve pretty much decided this is our next stop in the home buying journey. Such a great establishment with plenty to do, beautiful houses, and overall just a great place to continue raising our little family. {k, now that the back story is told…}

I look up to see that I’m getting honked at Β – with hands all flying in the air like WHOA. Umm, wahhhht was that?! She flys into a parking spot like freakin Cruella Deville, grabs the kid out the car, and proceeds to run in. No saying hi to us, waiting for us to all walk in together because by this time I had to park at our friend’s neighbors house. NBD to us as we love walking & it was a nice breezy day. That, my friend’s, was the first red flag. πŸ“Whatev, I have bigger fish to fry so I don’t let myself get worked up with petty s**t. Inside, homegirl does not say a word! All of my mama friends are casually talking while keeping an eye on the littles, having great conversation as I have not seen most of them in quite some time. {Reesey’s crazy sleep/nap schedule is to blame for that.} I’m sure one day we’ll get back on track, but for now I’m just enjoying the extra snuggles. By this time, I’m so enveloped in watching Reesey & making sure she’s minding her manners that I’m not even bothered by what’s going on. Homegirl literally avoids me at all costs & summons her child to stay away from me as well. Second red flag! πŸ“WTH?!

Well, being the person I am, I still went up to her & offered to watch her little girl while she rested, etc. Her little girl adores me {for some reason – prob more than my own kid} so if she dropped her off with me for a bit, I think the girls would have a great time & that would give her time to rest & recoop. She nodded a little “thank you” but then not long after, gathered her things & left. No good bye, nothing.


I had even told her when I got there that I brought her a little “get well happy” with me today because we haven’t been able to meet up lately. Didn’t get that either, but then later bashed me in THE text message belittling me because I didn’t bring it to her house. Wow! Well, now I’ll just keep it for my own, I suppose.

Please tell me if I’m wrong here. My child naps from 1:30ish to 3:30ish or 4. Give or take some depending on when she goes down. You can’t get your feelings hurt if you always want to go to the park, play date, etc. in the hours my child is napping so I have to repeatedly say no. I am NOT waking her up just to go play. She’s too much like her mama in that this girl loves her sleep. In my opinion, maybe that happened a few times too many for her liking & she thought I was avoiding her. I dunno anymore. She should know me better than that though. {Le sigh}

I guess this all boils down to these facts: we both have young kids who need naps during the day. Mine naps at a different time from hers. I’m not going to be that kind that HAS to do something everyday. We’re quite content in our own little home. Reesey doesn’t like leaving the house a lot of the time. I work around her. If I absolutely must, then yes, we go. But everyday – a planned scheduled activity – that’s a little over the top {for us anyway}.

Please give me some insight on how you would handle things. But for now, the wound is still open & kinda raw. Well, as I typed that, I’m thinking no – really, I just shrugged it off because that just goes to show me how cray cray & ignorant she really is.
xo,

Maegan

Excuse Me, My Dear:Β 

A post about rants:

I’m tired of attending pitty parties. We’re all grown-ups in this big world. We’re all doing life together. Sometimes it sucks like a mofo, but ya know what? You just get back up & try again the next day. Sometimes you will succeed at whatever it is & sometimes you’ll fail. That’s all part of it, my dear.

 I get it – I really do. Adulting is hard & most nights at 10:30 {Reesey’s new bedtime she made for herself πŸ™„}, I just want to close my pretty little eyes & block out everything. Mom’ing is exceptionally hard, especially during this season we’re going through. But ya know what, it’s my favorite – it’s so fun to watch her adventure thru life & pave her own path, figure out things on her own, develop an imagination beyond my wildest dreams, etc. Ok, I’m getting off track — 

But ya know who gets the most satisfaction from your pitty parties? The devil! And that’s def NOT who we’re striving to please. 

I’m so sick and tired of living my life trying to please others & worrying if they’ll be mad because of this, that, and the other. I’m such a people pleaser, though. That’s just who I am & this is something I love to do. {well, most of the time anyway.} I’ve come to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be πŸ’― percent happy with me for whatever reason. But in turn, I have to do what is best for me & my little family. After all, they are who I live for. Number 2 only to my God. 

Get it, got it, good! Now carry on with regularly scheduled life. 

In other news, my little sissy surprised Reesey & I with a random visit this afternoon/evening. Great times were had. Just a quick stop in our local children’s consignment boutique {where we found some fab stuff} & a quick dinner at Zaxby’s, my favorite of all chicken places. Tommy begs to differ. He actually hates it for whatever reason but yay, it was just the girls & kiddos {as he was at work}. We said our goodbyes before the littles got super cray so we could get them home & in bed. My heart is full! ❀️

xo, 

Maegan